Family of Dallas man killed in World Trade Center misses him as much as they did 20 years ago
Michael Tinley lived in Dallas but died in the September 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center.
DALLAS – Time is a strange thing. It is a precise measurement that tells an exact truth.
But sometimes time tells lies.
“On the one hand, it feels like it was a long time ago. But on the other hand, it feels like it was yesterday, ”says Jenna Mather-Früh.
Jenna’s father Michael Tinley died on September 11, 2011 when terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in New York City.
Lisa Kennedy is Jenna’s sister.
“My oldest was born exactly one year to the day after we last visited my father,” Lisa said, pausing to wipe a tear away.
“Obviously, time has not stood still. I think [my daughter] is 19 years old. But we miss him just as much as we did 20 years ago. “
On September 3, 2001, Jenna and Lisa said goodbye to their father after the trio enjoyed Labor Day weekend in New York City, one of Mike’s favorite spots.
Tinley, 56, raised his daughters in California but moved to Dallas in 1999.
While Texas was his home base, he often traveled for work and pleasure.
On September 11th, he was at a meeting in his company’s New York office in the first tower of the World Trade Center.
He called his sister, Suzanne Tinley, before their meeting began.
Suzanne lived in Tribeca, New York, and her brother told her that he waved to her from the 100th floor of the World Trade Center.
“One of the deepest things Mike said to me that morning was that he was a street warrior and didn’t have to be anywhere. Lisa had just married and Jenna got married and he wanted to tell his boss that day that he wanted to move back to California to be closer to them, “said Suzanne.
That was Michael Tinley’s last phone call.
On the official list of victims killed that day in New York City, Tinley’s is the only name that includes a hometown in North Texas.
About a week before the 20th anniversary of the attacks, Jenna, Lisa, Suzanne, and Jeannie Tinley Gilmore – another of Mike’s siblings – got together for a virtual family reunion to talk about two decades of grief.
You remembered Mike as a man who loved photography and theater and travel.
He especially loved pizza and hated peanut butter.
“He really enjoyed being wherever he was,” said Suzanne.
“He loved telling funny – and sometimes inappropriate – jokes,” Lisa said.
Jenna said her father was always ready for an adventure.
They enjoy celebrating the life Mike loved, but they also mourn how much he missed life.
“Since Mike’s death, our father and brother have died of cancer, a sister from multiple sclerosis, and a sister from cancer. So it was such a big change, ”said Jeanne.
Jeanne, Suzanne and their brother Emmett Tinley are the only survivors of eight siblings.
Lisa was 29 and newly married with no children when her father died.
Today she is the mother of three teenagers.
Jenna was 25 and engaged at the time of her father’s death, but she delayed their wedding for a few months.
When she got married in late 2002, she carried a picture of her father in her bouquet.
“I know my dad led me down the aisle because I felt it 100% and somehow could go downstairs without tears,” she said. “It was all because he was with me.”
Jenna and her husband Chad had two boys.
But about a decade after losing her father, Jenna Chad lost it to cancer.
“That was a time when I missed my father,” she said. “He was a sounding board for us and always had some kind of wisdom.”
Jenna eventually remarried and had a stepson.
Michael Tinley couldn’t see his daughters become mothers, but Jenna and Lisa see him in the grandchildren he never met.
They also sense his presence in a way they would never have dreamed of.
During one of Lisa’s pregnancies, she craved peanut butter badly.
She swears she heard her father’s voice say, “Yuck!” when she stood in her kitchen and ate it straight from a glass.
Jenna says she sees 9:11 a.m. all the time.
The most poignant presence they have ever seen was the fifth anniversary of the attacks.
That night they went into the dark pit where Tower One had stood.
They expected to be overwhelmed by anger or sadness, but instead felt a strange sense of peace.
Photos they took that night show thousands of spots of light that they could not see with the naked eye.
“We just had the feeling that our hearts were opening and that there were angels around us,” said Lisa. “It was a big part of our healing process.”
Jeannie says she believes Mike’s death taught her to “capture all the moments you can.”
“I like to think that I don’t wait to do things because you don’t know how much time you have,” she said.
Suzanne believes that her brother’s death taught her that there are few things that she cannot handle.
“I don’t think Mike would want either of us to sit around feeling bad,” she said. “I think he wants us to appreciate that he brought us together to really celebrate his life,” said Suzanne.
It feels like 20 lives since they saw him, but 20 minutes since they tragically lost him.
The years have taught them two important lessons about time: it never stops, and it doesn’t really heal.
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